we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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