I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
