Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
