So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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