Need sex. Gaining weight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize