I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I came so hard my ears popped.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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