Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
