God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
