WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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