1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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