Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize