hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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