i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
