I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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