Sponge bath it is.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
