We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize