You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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