You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
