yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
