The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
