these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I need a beard to bite.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize