do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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