I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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