I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize