I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
