I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize