You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
