Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
