when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize