dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
