I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
