what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
