Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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