i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
