Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
