it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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