so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
