you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And then he peed in my hair
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
