im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize