I cockslap morals
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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