just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
