Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
