i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize