she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
