so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
