Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
