idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
