but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
