if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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