Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
