the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
