but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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