I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
