i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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