just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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