I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
